How do I overcome my Insecurites?

Im and Asian American raised by an Italian American family, my family speaks with an New Yorker accent and I do to sometimes I feel like its not me like its an act. Ive had issues with my dad whom I find it hard to even get near now a days because of how much I can't stand him. A few of my friends ended up killed themselves, O.D.ed or are current drug addicts(whom I don't ociate with anymore). I'm trying to make ends meet but I find it so hard just to get by and settle with a career. I do everything by myself and have been like this for past 2 years while going to different colleges dropping out, and trying new jobs in different careers but I can't find anything I enjoy. I find it extremely hard trusting anyone!! I'm 20 and I've never had a date, felt like ive accomplished anything! Is there any hope for me? I really can't stand life.. I've attempted suicide , been through several different therapist and almost admitted to a phyciatic ward. I just want to be happy