I have made instant changes to my poem. Please comment?

i think you concentrated more on changing it then on what actually needed changing. i don't think "the independence road..." needs repeating, but if you want to, i wouldn't put the second one where you did as that stanza is more like a flashback (i know that's where it was originally). i think the stanzas you took out were a good choice. at this point, read through all of your revised poems from beginning to end (i'm sure you have each memorized at this point!) and try to read them like you've never read them before. if you do that, i think you will see where the changes were necessary and where they weren't. Keep writing!